Her point of view on a dominat relationship

I dominate my husband with prostate milkings and strap-on discipline!!!!!!

Now that that's out of the way, a little background information on how we got to this point in our lives.

I am not your typical leather-clad dominatrix that you see on TV. As far as I'm concerned, all that leather is just for show! I am your typical normal, unassuming housewife that you would never expect to be a dominant person to begin with.

I am 5'6" and about 120 lb's. My husband is 5' 11", 190 lb's and has a muscular build. Our relationship started just like any other relationship would start, but somewhere along the way things started to change, and as far as I'm concerned, they changed for the better.

Our sex life was also very "vanilla" and normal. The kinkiest we ever got was when he slapped my ass a few times when we were having sex doggie-style, but that was about it.

Things really started to change when he landed a high-level management position in a new company. Although the money was a lot better, the job was very demanding and the stress level was through the roof.

Often times his stress level would manifest itself at home, and he would often be on edge and very difficult to even have a conversation with, even snapping at me when I tried to talk to him.

This was obviously straining our relationship at home, and making life very difficult. He was unhappy, and so was I. We were constantly at each other's throats.

The answer to our problems came at a most unlikely time. One night when we actually got along long enough to have sex, my mind started to wander about half way through and I started to think about all of the things that had been going on recently in our relationship.

First, I felt a sense of sadness that our relationship was going down the tubes, but then that sadness was replaced by a sense of anger and frustration. My frustrations were building-and-building when suddenly; I lashed out in frustration and gave him a hard slap on the side of his ass cheek. (We were in a missionary position and I was on the bottom)

At first, I hadn't even realized what I had done, but the look on his face as he was staring down at me had confirmed it.

He had a shocked look on his face, and to tell you the truth, I felt a sense of shock and disbelief as well. I couldn't believe that I had done that!! I did the only thing I could think of at the moment and stared directly into his eyes.

We locked eyes for what seemed an eternity, but in reality were probably only ten, or so seconds. He eventually looked away and we continued to have sex, but this event would eventually change everything!

Once we were finished, he actually laid his head on my shoulder and eventually fell asleep. He hadn't showed any affection like that for quite some time! Naturally, I was intrigued and spent the next few days going over the night's events in my head. Meanwhile, everything was pretty much back to our normal, dysfunctional daily routine of very little communication, and constant bickering.

About a week later, we were once again having sex in our normal "vanilla" position of missionary style, when I decided to try and replicate the events of the other night. I was obviously nervous and unsure of what his reaction would be, but I had decided to give it a try anyway.

I really yearned for that little bit of affection he had displayed the other night. Even though we were going through some tough times, I really love and care about him. Besides, how could things get any worse? We were already at each other's throats most of the time.

Once I built up the courage I went for it.


I gave him a firm, but not terribly hard slap on his right ass cheek. Again, he stopped and stared directly down at me with a look of surprise. Once again I didn't budge and looked directly into his eyes. After a few seconds he looked away and continued to fuck me.

A sense of both relief, and excitement began to flood my body. I was relieved that he didn't flip out, and I was excited because this was kind of erotic in a way.

I waited a few minutes and delivered another one, this time on his left ass cheek.


This time he didn't look into my eyes, but instead, just kept fucking me. After a few minutes we finished, and sure enough, he laid his head on my shoulder and eventually fell asleep. Neither of us said a word.

Now I knew this wasn't some sort of fluke! These were the only two times in the past couple of months that he showed some affection towards me. Even though it was just a small display of affection, it was still something, and I was desperate to explore it, because I wanted more! So many thoughts were floating around in my head about the recent events, when suddenly; I got a "Eureka" moment if you will.

I know this sounds corny, but I suddenly remembered something about a TV show that I had seen a while back. The show was called "Taxi Cab confessions" and the episode that I had seen was with a lady in the back of a cab talking about how her boyfriend, who is a high level executive likes to be dominated by her.

She went on to describe that she thought it was because he was always the one with the power at work, and his job all day long is to tell people what to do, that when he gets home he likes somebody else to be in-control and tell him what to do for a change. Or something to that affect, from what I remember.

Now, things were starting to make a little more sense to me. Could it be that my husband and I were in the same situation? I mean, we got along well before his new stressful job, and slowly after he got it things started to go downhill. So, I decided to do some investigating. I turned to the Internet for some answers, and I was quite overwhelmed by the amount of information that I was able to find. I was even more surprised to see that this kind of scenario really wasn't that uncommon, and in some cases, even saved the marriages of some couples!

I laughed when I was reading one of the articles that a wife wrote because of the analogy that she used. She said, "A guy's dick is kind of like a stick-shift on a car, you can use it to control him just like you can on a car." In short, she just meant that some guys needed the control. It was really that simple!

I found a lot of valuable information, but the one thing I learned is that not every relationship is going to be the same, so what might work for one, might not work for another. Every relationship is a dynamic situation, and the methods applied are going to vary from one to the other.

So, I decided to give this whole thing a try. All of the articles I read had one thing in common, and that was to take things slow. Slow and steady wins the race.

It took a long time, I would say probably over a year to get to where we are today in our relationship, but now I wear the pants in our house and things have improved tremendously! Like I had mentioned before, different things work for different people, it really depends on the relationship and the people themselves, but after many avenues of approach I found that orgasm denial and strap-on discipline work best for us. I had tried a lot of different things and nothing really yielded the kind of results that I get from the two.

Things started slowly, and progressed from there. During our normal "vanilla" sessions of sex I would wait until he was getting close to cumming and then stop him. I would flip the position so that I was on top and he was on the bottom, so that I could work his cock with my pussy. This is the part that takes a lot of time. During these sessions, I would pay close attention to his reactions and facial expressions as I fucked him.

Do I get a better reaction out of him fucking him slow or hard?

Teasing the head of his cock with pussy before I slide down on his shaft?

How long can I keep him on the edge before he explodes? Etc.....

These are the little details that really matter. Like I said before, everybody is different, so what works for one person may not work for another. It is important to get to know every little nook and cranny of the person, so that you can use this knowledge to your benefit.

As time went on, I really started to get to know his body and all of the subtle twitches and reactions that I had learned about him. His body was basically speaking to me and all I had to do was pay attention and listen. After a while, I probably knew his body better than he did!

Once I knew what to look for and how to work his cock, I started to use it to my advantage. Through my experimentation, I found that when he is in a heightened state of arousal is when he is the most vulnerable. This is usually the time I use to my advantage.

Either I use this time to explain to him what I expect from him in the future, or I sometimes use it to explain to him what he has done wrong and what he should expect as a punishment for it. When he is in this state of heightened arousal, it is like his mind is an open door and everything I tell him gets through.

I almost never get any objections from him when I tell him what to do when he is in this state and when I do, I use my means of discipline to squash that real quickly. (More on that later) I use several methods to get him to this heightened state of arousal. It used to take a while to find that "sweet spot" of arousal, usually a few days of constant teasing, but I have found a way that is a lot less work for me and seems to work wonders on keeping him in that constant state of arousal. It is called a prostate milking.

The prostate milking is really a girl's best friend, in my opinion. Like I said before, it used to take me a long time to try and work him up to a heightened state of arousal. Countless hand jobs and blow jobs without ejaculation over the course of a few days is really what it took.

Don't get me wrong, I still use these methods and enjoying doing them, but the prostate milking is really my favorite way to achieve orgasm denial.

Now, this wasn't easy because like most of the guys that I have encountered, he doesn't like his ass played with at all. It's kind of one of his fears or phobias, so this was really slow going. The way I achieved this is by using my teasing and denial techniques that I have slowly mastered over the course of a year.

After a few failed attempts of trying to get anywhere near his ass, a slow, methodical hand-job is what did the trick. I waited till he was nice and sensitive, which he usually is after a couple of days of teasing, and then I got to work.

One night, I lubed up his cock and went to town. I stroked his cock slowly, over the course of what must have been an hour. I watched his body signals and I kept him on the edge the whole time. Towards the end, he was almost crying from the frustrations he was feeling. He was begging me to let him cum, and of course I wouldn't let him.

To tell you the truth, it was turning me on and I was enjoying it! Slowly, as he begged and pleaded, I would make my way to his ass and just rub his asshole. He would try and squeeze his legs together to prevent it, but with a few strokes of his super sensitive cock, they opened right back up for me.

"Are you going to give me what I want?" I would tease him

"You are making this worse than it has to be?"

After a while, I was able to get a little penetration with my index finger, but didn't get very far. It was okay though; the fact that I even got that far was amazing. I stopped trying to play with his ass and rewarded him for his good behavior and let him cum. He exploded everywhere. His orgasm must have been intense, because he couldn't even speak for a minute or two as he slowly recovered.

The next few sessions were kind of the same, except for each time I got my finger a little further into him. It was kind of cute in a way. Every time I would slide my finger in deeper, his balls would kind of twitch and move up. I didn't want to push him too far too fast, so I only went a little further every time. After all, I didn't want to hurt him.

When I finally felt comfortable that he could handle my whole finger, I went ahead and sank it in as far as I could. I got to tell you, there was definitely something erotic about the whole experience! The whole thing felt kind of taboo and wrong, but I was enjoying it! Now for the next step which is trying to find the prostate.

I read extensively about it on the Internet, so I knew what to look for, but I had a little trouble locating it at first.

Finally, I found it and began to rub it like the article had read, but after trying it for a while I wasn't able to yield any results. The article said that cum should begin to ooze out, but nothing happened and I stopped in frustration. I rewarded him, and myself, and let him fuck the shit out of me as a reward for obeying me and letting me explore.

The next few nights I tried again, and still nothing. I kind of felt bad for my husband, because I'm sure all of my "practicing" must have not been very comfortable. He still didn't even know what the hell I was trying to do to him. All he knew was that I had my finger up his ass, and he wasn't too happy about it, but I always let him fuck me after, so he wasn't complaining too much.

I went back to the Internet and did some more research. I found some helpful articles that showed some good techniques on how to do it, and I also read that it is best if his balls are nice and full, so that you can get a nice load out of him.

So, I took the advice of the article that I had read and let almost two weeks go by without letting him cum, some light teasing sessions here and there but no cum. A nice load was waiting to be milked out of his balls.

I was determined to get results! I had him lie on his back and began with a nice slow hand job. He was super sensitive, so it didn't take much before I saw a drop of pre-cum forming at the head of his dick. I didn't want him to explode, so once I worked my finger into his ass, I spaced out the frequency of the strokes. I located his prostate and got to work.

I massaged his prostate using the techniques that I had read online. Every few minutes, I would stroke his cock to kind of keep him on the edge. After a while, I thought it was going to be another failed attempt when all of the sudden his body language began to change and I could see his facial expressions changing as well. I continued to massage his prostate and slowly I could see cum begin to drip from his cock.

I slowly stopped stroking his cock all-together, and just rubbed the underside of it with the palm of my free hand as it lay on his stomach. I watched intently and with sort of a feeling of accomplishment as the cum slowly dribbled out of his cock.

As I continued, I could hear him groaning and I could feel his sphincter contracting around my finger. I could tell by his reactions and the look on his face that he wasn't happy, and probably kind of confused. He was cumming, but not in the way that he was used to cumming. The article said that he wouldn't feel any of the same pleasurable feelings that he would normally feel during ejaculation. Instead, it would feel more like he had to pee and could feel rather uncomfortable for him.

I felt the need to reassure and comfort him, so as I milked him, I looked right into his eyes and began to comfort him at the same time.

"I know you're confused baby, but its okay. Just try and relax for me."

"I know it's uncomfortable, but this something that we need. It's something that you need!"

"Haven't things been better for us since I took charge?"

"After being in-charge all day at work isn't it nice to let go and have me take the reins?"

He didn't respond, but I knew my words were getting through to him. He needed my control and he knew it, but being the man that he is, it wasn't going to be easy for him to break that mentality and relinquish that control very easy, so it was something that was going to be a work in progress.

I continued the prostate massage until I couldn't get any more cum out of his balls. Slowly, I withdrew my finger from his ass and began to wipe the cum off of his belly with the bed sheets. His cock was as flaccid as could be and he just laid there in silence. He wouldn't look at me, so I decided to just leave him alone. I'm sure there were a million things running through his mind right now, so I figured I would just let him sit there and think.

I let a few days go by and then one morning as he was shaving in the bathroom getting ready for work, I rewarded him with a nice blow job. Needless to say, he was very happy. When I was done, I threw in the comment:

"See what happens when you cooperate with me? I said as I walked out of the bathroom

Slowly, he seemed to recover from the initial shock of his first prostate milking and after a week or so, I decided it was time for another one. I went about it the same way as I did the first time, but this time he knew what was coming and he really tried to fight me on it.

Not so much with words at first, but with his body. He would try and squeeze his legs together and swat my hand away every time I would go near his ass.

Finally, I was able to impose my will on him and slowly but surely, my finger was on it's way into his ass. He was still pleading with me not to do it as my finger slid all of the way into him. I located his prostate and got to work. Slowly, his pleads for me to stop were replaced by his groans as the prostate massage began to take effect.

"That's it.........Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............There's no fighting it baby! We both know that you need this!"

"I'm going to give you everything that I know you need. I just need you to trust me."

"Do you trust me?"

He didn't respond verbally, but he nodded his head in approval as he bit his bottom lip from the intensity of the feelings that must have been going through his body.

"Gooooooooooooood!!!! Now just try and relax for me and let me give you what you need!"

I was beginning to get good at this, because cum began to ooze from his cock a lot quicker than it had the last time. I continued the dialogue between us because I think the mental domination is just as important as the physical one.

"You like doing things for me don't you?"

"Uhhhhhhhuuuuuhhhhhhh" he managed to utter

"I know you do baby and I like doing things for you. This is all for you!"

Once I emptied him thoroughly, I withdrew my finger and wiped him clean. I was so wet from the whole experience that I immediately climbed onto his face and had him lick me to orgasm! Once he was finished, I leaned into him and reassured him of how well he was doing with our new relationship and how happy he was making me. I assured him that we were on the right path in making our relationship even better and as long as he let me lead, we were going to be in good shape.

Now, it is important that I mention that outside our home, my husband is still the man. He is the one that's in-charge, especially when we are in front of other people. That is something that is very important in our relationship. It's not that he's some kind of wimp, nor do I want that kind of husband, it's just that he needs control and structure when it comes to our relationship in the home and in our bedroom. Perfectly normal I think. There needs to be a healthy balance in the relationship, it cannot be one sided and all about one person.

The next few sessions I was getting better-and-better with the milkings. After a while, I was able to prolong the milkings considerably via the amount of pressure and technique I was using on his prostate. I would prolong the session as long as possible if I encountered any kind of resistance from him in-between his milkings as a form of punishment, and I would explain to him the whole time of why I had to do it. Very effective!
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